A Recap Of Everything… Jeff Bezos and His Penis-Shaped Rocket


Jon Stewart released a skit yesterday about billionaires and what basically amounts to a wiener-measuring contest in space. 

Jason Alexander played Jeff Bezos, and Richard Branson was played by A MOP. 

Tracy Morgan is also part of the fun. 

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A Song Describing All the Things You Could Do with Jeff Bezos' Money

In honor of Jeff Bezos' space flight, here's a College Humor video from last year called"If I Had the Money That Bezos Has". It shows the different things you could do with his wealth . . . like, pay the cancer treatment for everyone on Earth.

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On to the real story… JEFF BEZOS successfully launched himself, his brother, and two other people into space yesterday onboard the extremely phallic-looking New Shepard spacecraft. 

The ship took off from a launchpad in Texas just after 9:00 A.M. About seven minutes in, the head separated from the shaft and achieved weightlessness. 

The whole thing took about 10 minutes . . . or, the average break time an Amazon employee gets over a 12-hour workday.

The flight made history by carrying the oldest and youngest people to ever fly in space: 82-year-old female aviator Wally Funk and an 18-year-old Dutch student named Oliver Daemen.

The booster rocket is actually reusable . . . which is admittedly kind of cool. It landed safely on a landing pad two miles from the launch site.

Bezos is going to fly two more human missions before the end of the year, and he's already selling tickets for future flights. There's no word how much they cost, but he claims sales are already approaching $100 million.

Virgin Galactic is reportedly charging around $250,000 per flight. Bezos' company . . . which is called Blue Origin . . . is expected to be around the same. But both companies hope to eventually lower prices.

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You may remember that Jon's good buddy Stephen Colbert actually HOSTED the Livestream of Branson's space flight on July 11th, then had Branson on the"Late Show" to brag about it.

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After being such an unapologetic cheerleader for Branson's flight, it would be interesting to get his take on Jon's new skit. 

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Speaking of critics, Meghan McCain slammed Bezos for going to space while Amazon employees have to pee in water bottles.

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Jeff Bezos' Blue Origin New Shepard Space Vehicle Flies The Billionaire And Other Passengers To Space

Photo: Getty Images

Photo: Getty Images


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