An anonymous “well-known celebrity/influencer with 10+ million followers” from YouTube posted a “part-time” job listing on EntertainmentCareers.net looking for a personal assistant that reads like a satire written by Satan.

The listing has since been deleted, but was thankfully captured on Twitter in full by New York Times reporter Taylor Lorenz.

Among the qualities the influencer is looking for in an “organized/available/diligent personal assistant” are:

Feel comfortable planning/managing calendar activities.
Be “on property around 8 hours a day cleaning, cooking, communicating with producer/videographer/editor/manager’/all stylists/cleaning services/other celebrities/friends.”
For $25 to $30 an hour, the assistant must also be “on call almost 24/7,” but presumably won’t be paid for calls at home.
Researching and preparing for all pre-production, production and post-production activities.
Handling all personal tasks for the YouTuber.
You must be able to remain calm, rational and hardworking at all times.
You will have to answer your phone/be on call almost 24/7.
You must keep all emotional/private matters away from this world.
You must be able to handle hundreds of small tasks at once.
You must be able to be the bad guy, remove emotion, handle intense conversations and bounce back instantly from any mistakes without emotion.
You must remain sober yet social and inviting in very high profile environments.
You cannot take photos, post to social media or be/seem (to be) driven by fame.
Once COVID-19 pandemic is over you must be willing to travel anywhere at any time.

Should someone fit this bill, they will be paid a paltry $25-$30 an hour to take on a myriad of responsibilities including:

Schedule, plan and prepare all filming, editing and posting.
Managing, analyzing and reporting all social media posting and performance.
Plan and schedule the calendar daily.
Wake the client each day with schedule, coffee and all other requests.
Constantly be letting maids/make up artists/editors/stylists/ etc. enter home or office.
Schedule and assist with travel including taking the client to meetings/filmings/fittings/studio sessions/parties etc.
Organize and pack/unpack clients bags constantly.
All personal day-to-day tasks.

The ideal candidate, according to the listing, has to have a car, live within 40-60 miles of Los Angeles, is fluent in English and “proactive” while (again) not being emotional.

The insane posting ends noting: “Actual work hours will be flexible but generally expect to be with the client at all time” and notes “minimal days off.”

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