Criminals: Robber In HOUSTON Tries To Fist Bump Person He’s Stealing From?

Robber In HOUSTON Tries To Fist Bump Person He’s Stealing From???

In a bizarre gesture, a man robbing a cellphone store in Houston attempted to fist bump the store clerk he was stealing from. Check out the surveillance recording of the incident. (Get a load of his seemingly drugged-out companion.)

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A Woman Caught Pleasuring Herself at a Car Dealership in Minnesota Told Cops She Thought She Was in Florida

Someone at a car dealership in Mankato, Minnesota called 911 on Sunday when a random woman got NAKED and started climbing around inside the cars.

(Careful!) Police showed up and found 35-year-old Jennifer Weber lying in the backseat of a four-door Chevy Silverado . . . with her feet in the air . . . and she was PLEASURING HERSELF. It turned out she was on drugs.

And when they asked what she was doing . . . she said she thought she was in FLORIDA. Specifically, St. Petersburg. To be clear, car dealerships in Florida don't allow this sort of thing either.

It took about an hour to coax her out of the truck, and she continued pleasuring herself while they talked to her. She also told them she was in town to, quote, "please the boys." But it turns out she's not from Florida, she lives 40 miles from the dealership.

Once they tracked down her clothes, they found a bunch of meth and drug paraphernalia. She's facing charges for indecent exposure, drug possession, DWI, and entering a vehicle without the owner's permission.

The truck was actually there being serviced.

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A driver appeared to be sleeping behind the wheel of an autonomous Tesla in Illinois this week. Check out the deputy that caught and pulled him over. 

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A Guy Tried to Hide Cocaine in His Backside, While a Cop Was Watching?

Yet again, the "stupid criminal" of the day goes to a "Florida man." It's nothing personal, Florida . . . although what this guy did got a little personal.

A 48-year-old man named Marti Martinez from Lakeland, Florida (just east of Tampa) was arrested Monday morning for DUI and possession of cocaine.

Technically, he wasn't driving when the cops found him . . . he was asleep behind the wheel of his pickup.

But he was a MESS. He had a "white powdery substance" on his nose . . . there was a "strong smell of whiskey" on his breath . . . and when the deputy asked him to get out of the vehicle, he forgot to put the car in park and it rolled forward.

He did have enough awareness to remember that he had a couple of baggies of cocaine on him . . . but at that point, he was already in the back of the patrol car.

The cop was still finishing the paperwork when Marti pulled two baggies out of his pockets, and SHOVED THEM UP HIS BACKSIDE. (???) The baggies were, um, recovered at the station, and tested positive for cocaine.

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A man was accused of chasing a woman through a forest naked, but he says the whole thing is a MISUNDERSTANDING. He was just looking for a place to poop. Naked. 

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Photo: ABC 13

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