A Guy Says His Girlfriend Squeezed His Testes So Hard They Were Bleeding
Stories like this make me want to permanently wear a CUP or some kind of medieval crotch armor for protection.
A guy in Indian Harbour Beach, Florida called the cops last week after he had an argument with his 27-year-old girlfriend Katie Lee Pitchford . . . and she attacked him.
(Careful . . .) She grabbed his TESTES . . . and he says she, quote, "squeezed them until they were bleeding."
She also choked him and punched him in the face, but those sound way less painful than the scrotum thing, all things considered.
She was arrested for misdemeanor domestic battery.
Read More HERE
Burglars Who Would Make Terrible Spies Fail at Breaking Into a Spy Shop
I'm not sure if these guys are aspiring spies . . . but if so, maybe it's time to come up with a new dream.
There's a spy shop in Daytona Beach, Florida that sells things like GPS trackers, hidden cameras, and audio recorders.
Anyway, two guys tried to break into the store around 1:00 A.M. on Sunday. But there were two things they hadn't counted on.
One, somehow they didn't realize the shop had surveillance cameras all over, because OBVIOUSLY a spy shop would. So there are plenty of videos of the guys in action.
And two, the front window was made out of a special, stronger glass, so it wouldn't break. Even when the guys hit it with a hammer 56 TIMES.
The guys were wearing masks, but one of the cameras caught their license plate. The shop turned that info over to the cops, and they're tracking down the burglars.
A Guy Is Arrested for Having Sex With a Railing Outside a McDonald's
Going to McDonald's should never be THIS erotic.
The cops in Naples, Florida got a call from a McDonald's earlier this week about something unusual happening.
People reported there was a NAKED GUY outside doing a strange dance . . . and trying to have sex with a railing. (So maybe it was a dance of seduction then?)
When the cops got there, they recognized 63-year-old John Morgan . . . and they say they've had issues with him in the past.
The witnesses told the cops it seemed like he was on drugs, but it's not clear if he was . . . or if the nudity, dancing, and sex with inanimate objects were all sober decisions.
Either way, he was arrested for trespassing.
Read More HERE
A man in Virginia caught a woman who'd broken into his house and was trying to microwave some butter. And he says he told her, quote, "You butter not."
Read More HERE
Two idiots were caught on camera on Sunday trying to break into a store in Daytona Beach that sells spy equipment. And there were roughly 40 cameras running in the store.
They tried to smash the front window with a hammer, but couldn't get in because the owner paid extra for special glass that's meant to withstand a hurricane.
Read More HERE