Crazy Criminalzzz: Woman Crushes Husband & more

A 300-Pound Woman Confesses to Murdering Her 120-Pound Boyfriend by Crushing Him

Not to make light of the story we've got right here . . . but I hate to see my top fantasy turn so tragic.

There's a 44-year-old woman named Windi Thomas in Erie, Pennsylvania.  And she just pleaded guilty to murdering her 44-year-old boyfriend Keeno Butler back in March.

How'd she do it?  Windi checks in at over 300 POUNDS . . . Keeno was 120 . . . and she CRUSHED him.

Apparently they'd had a bad argument because she was drunk and wanted to SMOKE CRACK, and he didn't.  And they wound up on the couch, where she literally SMOTHERED him to death.

 She also cut him on the hand with a knife and hit him with a table leg during the fight.

Windi pleaded guilty to third-degree murder on Monday and she'll be looking at 18 to 36 years in prison. 

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A Guy in California was Stabbed in the Eye with a Drumstick.

 The musical instrument, not the piece of chicken or ice cream dessert. 

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A Guy Is Caught Speeding Because He Didn't Want His McDonald's to Get Cold

Trips to McDonald's don't get more expensive than THIS.

The cops in Sheffield, England pulled a guy over for speeding a few days ago.

And he told them he was going so fast because he'd just gotten some McDonald's . . . and he wanted to rush home to eat it before it got cold.

Unfortunately for him, he also didn't have insurance . . . so he got a speeding ticket and his car was towed. 

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A Guy Successfully Seduces a Coworker by Covering Himself in Maple Syrup . . . But She's Furious He Secretly Recorded Them

Who would've guessed a guy who would randomly get naked and cover himself in condiments might be creepy?

There's a 52-year-old guy named Robert Somley who's a landscaper in Monroe, Connecticut.  And he and a 48-year-old female coworker were recently working at a home when he said he needed a break.

About 20 minutes later, she went inside and found him naked . . . watching porn . . . and covering himself in MAPLE SYRUP.

And shockingly . . . she said that was a TURN ON and she asked if she could join in.  According to the police report, they did some foreplay stuff involving the syrup and also brought some blueberry jelly into the mix.

But . . . the woman found out later that Robert had taken a video of the entire thing with his phone.  And even though she was cool with all the syrup and jelly play . . . she WASN'T okay with him recording it without her permission.

So she went to the cops, they got a search warrant for Robert's phone . . . and found the videos.  So he was arrested for voyeurism.

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