1. Rosenberg police seek man accused of assaulting victim outside restaurant
2. McDonald’s Night Shift Manager Busted
for Serving Sides of Cocaine With Happy Meal Orders
3. A 67-Year-Old Stabbed His Grandson in the Arm Over a Donut
A 67-year-old guy in Missouri asked his 12-year-old grandson to get him a donut on Tuesday, and he said no. So he STABBED the kid in the arm, and he's facing charges for domestic assault. Luckily his grandson will be okay.
4. A Teller Says "No" to a Bank Robber Which Makes Him Immediately Give Up
A guy went into a bank in San Diego on Tuesday and handed the teller a note demanding cash. The teller said, "No" and apparently that was enough, because the guy gave up and left. The cops are trying to track him down.
5. A Couple Robs a House That Was Vacated During Hurricane Irma
But Gets Caught When One of Them Leaves Her Purse Behind
A couple broke into a house in Florida that had been evacuated during Hurricane Irma last month but the woman left her purse behind. The cops used it to track them down, and they were both hit with a felony charge for burglary during a state of emergency.
6. A Drunk Guy Tells the Cops He's a Time Traveler
Here to Prevent an Invasion By the Aliens Who Filled Him With Alcohol
A guy in Wyoming was drunk in a hospital on Monday, and he told the cops he was a TIME TRAVELER from 2048 who'd come back to warn us about an alien invasion. Oh, and he was drunk because the aliens had filled him up with alcohol. The cops didn't heed his warning and they arrested him for public intoxication.