A Naked Guy Pooped on a Glass Table on His Neighbor's Porch
Well, this wasn't very neighborly . . .
A 64-year-old guy in Clearwater, Florida named Ken Carlyle got arrested last Friday after using his neighbor's front porch as a bathroom.
We don't know if they're beefing or what. But last Friday, he walked up their driveway NAKED in broad daylight . . . saw a glass table on the porch . . . and DEFECATED on top of it. (???)
It's not clear if they caught him in the act or not, but their security cameras got it from two different angles. Fortunately, that footage has NOT been released.
Cops showed up and arrested him the same day for criminal mischief, which might have just been a fine . . . except he was already out on bond.
He got arrested back in December for drunk driving and, quote, "discharging multiple firearms into a lake" near his house. (Um . . . ain't that just called fishin'?)
The gun charges were felonies, and he was out on bond when the porch-poop happened. So because of that, he's now back in jail.
Read More HERE
(Here's his mugshot.)
A Wife Shot Her Husband in the Junk with a Spear Gun for Not Making Dinner
I guess this really happened, but I almost want it to be fake . . . because of OUCH.
A 43-year-old woman in Thailand came home from work last Thursday, and her husband of 21 years had promised to have dinner ready. But he forgot, and went out drinking with his buddies instead.
So the wife waited up for him all night. And when he finally got home, she grabbed a SPEAR GUN meant for fishing . . . and harpooned him in the JUNK.
(Careful!) It went through the base of his manhood. Then to make sure he knew she meant business, she grabbed the harpoon . . . and TWISTED it.
He was so drunk, he didn't realize how bad the injury was at first. So he didn't go to the hospital until the next morning. (???)
He needed 17 stitches to close the wound, but it sounds like he'll be okay. It's not clear if his wife is facing charges . . . but it sounds like they're staying together.
He said he was planning to stay away for a while, to give her a chance to cool down.
Read More HERE
A Fake Cop Was Driving Drunk and Accidentally Pulled Over a Real Cop
We've seen stories like this before, but this one's got a fun twist . . .
A 28-year-old guy in California named Clemente Martinez got arrested for impersonating an officer on Sunday . . . after he tried to pull over an ACTUAL cop. (It happened in Greenfield, which is between L.A. and San Francisco.)
His white car had red-and-blue flashing lights, so it looked like an unmarked police car. But the off-duty cop he tried to pull over knew better.
Once Clemente realized he was caught, he claimed that he thought he was pulling over a drunk driver. He said he just wanted to warn them about how dangerous and irresponsible drunk driving is.
But then it turned out HE was the one driving drunk.
They tested his blood alcohol, and it was over the legal limit. He was also driving on a suspended license from several previous DUIs.
He's facing multiple charges.
Read More HERE
(Here's his mugshot.)
Photo: Getty Images