Why Last Night's Super Bowl Halftime Show Was NOT The Best Ever

There's been a whole lotta talk about how last night's Super Bowl Halftime show with Dr. Dre, Snoop Dogg, Mary J. Blige, Eminem, and 50 Cent was the best halftime show ever. This is a free country which means you have the freedom to think whatever you want BUT if you think last night's halftime show was the best ever you are wrong. I know that now you may be thinking, "but Alex, if last night's halftime show wasn't the best ever what was? Was it Prince, Michael Jackson, Madonna?" The answer to that question would be D, none of the above.

The real greatest Super Bowl halftime show was the OG halftime show. I'm talkin' Super Bowl 1, folks. Why? Because it had guys on jetpacks in it. Jetpacks are objectively one of the coolest things ever so having guys with jetpacks trumps anything any other performer could do ever. To be honest, the NFL may have set the bar so high back in 1967 that it won't ever be able to be topped. Did Prince sing "Purple Rain" in the rain at Super Bowl XLI? Absolutely, but the rain wasn't purple and Prince wasn't on a jetpack so it couldn't be as cool as Super Bowl 1. Did we get to see a little bit of Janet Jackson's boob during the "wardrobe malfunction" in Super Bowl XXXVIII? Yes we did. But was the boob also riding a jetpack? No it wasn't so it automatically can't be as cool. You can literally name any thing that has happened in any halftime show ever but unless it involves someone riding on a jetpack it'll never be as cool. Quit trying to make fetch happen, guys.

I am in no way saying that you aren't allowed to enjoy last night's halftime show or any other halftime show ever, but let's not get crazy and try and pass any of them (other than Super Bowl 1) as the "best ever" because that's just not true.


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