Mugshot: New York State Police
A farmer in New York caught two men on camera sexually abusing his cows. He set the cameras up because his cows were agitated and not producing any milk. No wonder! Poor things were being violated.
One of the men was trying to have sex with the cow -- which makes it sound consentual? when it clearly wasn't? -- while the other was filming. The guy getting handsy with the cow was a school district employee. Key word being "was". Dude was SO FIRED. (Technically he resigned, but come on. He was so fired regardless.)
Here's an altered news video making fun of the situation that seriously had me cracking up:
What I Do, Job-wise: So. Much. Other than playing on-air every day (and on DO YOU HATE IT? Sunday nights), you might get an e-mail response from me if you write in asking to know the name of a song or whether we're looking for interns. I'm all over the place, like a ninja, but less stealthy.