Photo: Getty Images

Who cares WHY it happened... let me give you the highlights.

A hotel guest (Joseph Small, 20) emerged naked from a storage cupboard of a Premier Inn with a fire extinguisher hose up his bottom, a court was told.

And then...

Once the hose was firmly in place, he began masturbating and peeing on the floor.

Naturally, the police were called, because duh.

And for his grand finale, Small also racially abused the two police officers who arrived on the scene. Sadly, the report does not say where the fire extinguisher was at this point.

(Gawker, Metro)