mariateresat. / Foter / CC BY-NC-ND

I don't have a penis, so I'm not completely sure, but it really seems like shoving a fork up your urethra wouldn't really be pleasurable. One 70-year-old man thought it would work, though, and that's how he ended up going to an ER so the doctors could retrieve the 4" fork he shoved up his man bits.

Though the fork had gotten lost inside the man's genitals, doctors were
able to sense the utensil using touch, and surgeons were able to extract
the object using forceps and "copious lubrication."

Ouch. (Gawker