Photo: Paramount

The Gawker story about the Air Force's attempt to get more fighter pilots starts like this: "It used to be that every red-blooded young boy watched Top Gun and dreamed of growing up to be a fighter pilot." UM, HELLO? I dreamed of being a fighter pilot after seeing Top Gun. I was going to be more badass than all of the boy pilots. I would be the female version of Maverick.

Then I realized that my (lack of) height and my bad eyesight would make that a no-go.

Apparently it's time to remake Top Gun, because the Air Force is worried about a shortage of pilots in coming years. To make people want to be Maverick again, they're offering up cash.

As a result, the Air Force is offering a souped-up incentive package under something called the Aviator Retention Program, which was first rolled out in 1989. The program now offers a $25,000 signing bonus per year for nine years — nearly twice as long as the usual contract...

That's $25k A YEAR. Damn me for being short and having bad eyes.