The list is REALLY LONG. I don't want to bore you with a wall of douche-based text, so here's a look at celebs who this guy would NOT be willing to date. If you can find a woman who a) fits his criteria and b) is willing to put up with an epic level of douchebaggery, he'll pay you a $1500 finders fee. Because douchebag.

He won't date anyone who is overweight, ruling out the beauties like Christina Hendricks. (Seriously, his cutoff is a number I haven't been below since high school. Dream on, buddy.)



He won't date anyone who is black. Sorry to women like Kerry Washington. But it's ok because he's not a racist! He has black friends! He just wouldn't stick it in 'em because EW.


He won't date a woman with short hair. No pixie cuts, not even if you're Michelle Williams.


He won't date a woman who wears glasses, so Manic Pixie Dream Girls, hipsters, and people who need corrective lenses regardless of your sartorial choices? You're out.



He won't date a woman who's given birth because that leaves stretch marks and because childbirth "makes their vagina looser". (Say that to January Jones' face, dude. I dare you.)



He won't date anyone with tattoos, which rules out nearly 25% of all women.

And that is not even close to the entire list, but you get the point.

I think this is probably the lady he's looking for, which is perfect... because she is probably the only one who would have him.

Photos: Getty Images