1. Former Mrs. America Facing 5 Years In Prison For Stealing Over $5,500 From Macy’s
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2. Married teacher offered to get student a heart tattoo after alleged sex romp
3. A Park's Bathroom Is Shut Down After Incidents Involving Kinky Sex Acts With Vegetables
A park bathroom in England was just shut down because too much KINKY sex stuff was going down inside, involving vegetables. Carrots, apparently, if you're curious.
4. ***UPDATE***
Police in Travis County (Austin) Have a Warrant for the Arrest of a Man Who Was Busted for Having Sex with a Chain Link Fence
6. A Drunk Driver Flips His Car, When He Crashes Into a "Report Drunk Drivers" Sign
A drunk driver in California flipped his car on Wednesday when he hit a sign, that said "Report Drunk Drivers, Call 911." He was hospitalized with serious injuries, and he'll be facing DUI charges when he recovers.
7. A Fisherman Almost Catches a Drunk Woman, So She Bites His Line and Swims Away
A drunk woman was swimming near a pier in Florida on Tuesday and got mad when she saw a fisherman's line, so she bit it and swam off with his lure. Eventually the cops got her out of the water and arrested her for disorderly intoxication.
8. A Mom Is Caught Snorting Cocaine Off Her iPhone in the School Pick-Up Line
A mom in Florida was busted on Tuesday for snorting cocaine off of her iPhone, while she was waiting to pick her kid up from middle school. She's facing a drug possession charge.